So it's been a little while since I posted on the blog, I am really conflicted when I do as I feel I am diluting down Sharon's amazing crafting posts, and in return making her informative content harder to find as a result.
Especially as I am not sharing crafting content, my posts are more of a journal entry if that makes sense? (yes, I know I am overthinking it)
Anyway, with that said;
I owe it to those of you that are not on social media, a catchup of sorts to show that I am doing 'OK', and what I have been up to.
Anyway, this is not going to be one of 'Those' feel sorry for the 'widower' posts.
OO the planter, check this out :)
'Apparently'
I do dirt now, it looked happy until we had that heatwave, I have had to cut it back a bit since this picture.
I have had a fair few low points, mental health wise, I am sure that is to be expected, so, I am busying myself with concerts as I battle through it.
Music keeps me sane, numbs the pain a little for a while, it is my 'escape', I know that without it, I would not still be here.
And so, I have attended some concerts & festivals, a fair few of them in fact, some with my awesome siblings, others on my own, I also have a fair few lined up for the coming months and into next year too.
Stone broken & The Fallen State concert
Younger bro Rob
Breaking bands' festival - Stoke Prior (Bike and Car)
My little brother Tim and beautiful niece Olivia
Download festival - Donnington park
Little sister Ellen, me, the youngest bro Tim, sister-in-law Jen & younger brother Rob
Hammer and Tong festival, Sheffield (proper out-out on the bike)
Annabelle, the lead singer from the band Circus66
Rock stock - Rock against cancer - Victoria bikers pub, other side of Leicester (Bike)
My little bro Tim kicking my ass big time at pool between sets.....big time (Hustler)
A really close friend's 50th birthday party was held at his house a couple of weeks back, this was harder than I thought it would be, the last time the group gathered was a barbecue this gathering had not been back together since before lockdown, so I felt out of place and completely 'lost' without Shaz by my side.
It really is bizarre, just exactly how lonely you feel surrounded by your closest friends, it is hard to describe.
A First aid course will follow as well as advanced motorcycle training is on the cards.
Yes, I have tied my hair back, OMFG is it a nightmare to get knots out when your hair has been flapping around at 70mph for a while, ask me how I know.
So that was my extremely late and extremely picture heavy check in, head over to our Julia's at the stamping ground and check in on actual crafting being done.
My and finally was a gift from one of my students, and it is on a desk ha ha ...
10 comments:
It's nice to hear what you've been up to Doug. Your planter looks lovely! Keeping busy with bikes and concerts sounds like a good idea too. It's bound to be difficult sometimes, but I'm sure that your friends and family will all understand. Keep your chin up x
Good to read the catch up, even though I see bits on social media . Of course you still find it hard to go places and do things on your own, but at least you are doing them! Take care and stay strong. hugs. Helen #2
It’s really good to read your catch-up although I do see most you post on Facebook. Grieving takes its time Doug so just go with the flow and do what you need to do to get though it....you will get there because you are strong. Hoping you can at the very least drop in to see us all at the crop...I for one would love to see you and I know I’m not alone in that.
Hugs,
Annie x
Oh Doug it is so good to hear from you and to know you are getting on with life - Shaz would want it no other way. You two were such a team it is no wonder you still feel lost without and still finding your way. Doing things alone that would have done together will always be bitter sweet but take refuge in the things that keep you sane and just keep on keeping on. Please don't disappear completely 'hublet' you will always be welcome here (whatever you have on your desk lol). Sending hugs and happy thoughts, Cindyx #15
Thanks for posting this Doug. It's good to know you are getting there slowly - like 2 steps forward one back but you will do it. Music is just amazing in it's ability to get to us in all sorts of ways, so listen to the stuff that raises you up and lifts your spirits. I know you know all that but we need to tell you (us old folks who have lived longer!!). Love the little planter - so pretty. xx Jo
Thank you all,
You know I won't miss a crop unless I have a gig already booked in.
If I have a date I can pop it in the calendar to prevent a double booking, my apologies for not keeping up.
I have loads of holidays that I have yet to take at work, what better way to use them next to gigs than to spend them with my extended family x
Hi Doug,
You don't know me but I have been a "lurker" for many years. I lost someone very special last year and "somewhat" understand. Lost seems to be a continuous feeling sometimes. Thank you for your continued posts and sharing your life.
Hey Doug, it’s great to see you on the blog, and yes, I do think you’re over thinking the impact on Shaz’s posts…we know when to scroll and when to read, fret not! Look at you doing the dirt, and I think you’re as good at that as everything else! The motorbike course sounds such a good thing, very valuable indeed. I wonder really if all drivers should have some similar instruction, I’m sure it would help and increase confidence in managing a shocking scene. Your post doesn’t come as a ‘feel sorry for the widower’ post at all, and I recognise that whilst you’re busy living your life, you are still grieving enormously. Have you considered some grief counselling? It’s not a solution, doesn’t make it all go away, but it can help…especially those situations like the party. Meanwhile though, it’s great to catch up and am loving the mug…your students know you!
Hi Doug from NYC...
Been way too long since last I posted. I really enjoyed seeing your posts. Please keep doing them.
As you know, I share this journey with you...The song Always just had the tears going. I have collected some songs around this. Like "Fall on me" by Andrea Bocelli and his son https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3x38EQSq-I....as you know, music does not have to be specific to love or loss to have meaning...there is a fantastic duet with mother and son for Rise Up I love from your side of the pond...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AnzWa4AJ1w Mom is really rippin' it up. We have to rise up every day and sometimes 30x a day.
I am doing grief counseling now...it not a magic fix. It is someone I can talk to bc people want us to "get over it"...someone just said to me the other day how I need to "get out of grief brain" (what I call it). Know this-they don't mean badly-they are just uncomfortable with it. It is not like you trip and fall and they can help you up. They can't fix it. But never let anyone push you or tell you how to grieve. What the therapist said is this: you don't get over it. You learn to live with it. Just saved you a bunch of money. You're welcome. lol
I am so proud of you-that is a great job in the front of the house--I wish I had family like that. You are lucky. And the last runs...very very cool and I feel sure Shaz would be too. She was such a big giver.
You might laugh at this...I am a tech cave girl-that was Mal's wheelhouse. I finally after weeks of struggle and tech calls and so on got my Roku to work. It is a trigger right..(and so is the giant shopping bag of wires and crap I have NO idea about)....but I was also very happy to get that done. You could think I won the lottery. Because it feels like nothing ever gets done. It drags out or sends you down more rabbit holes. So I got to watch the not-so-new-now Dune and look forward to the 3 big series hitting this fall..GOT, LOTR and Star Wars. Little things. Little things matter. But he isn't sitting with me watching them either. Sigh. There is what I call the see-saw. Part up/part down. I think you call them a tilt board or a teedle board? In playgrounds.
Just today I was in an old thread on SCS and saw one of her posts and got the twang in my throat. I will always regret we never met in person. Her wisdom and kindness persists. One good side of tech.
Continue on...I know some days we don't want to--but that would *destroy* them up there and if one believes some people, it would keep us from joining them. In some ways it does get easier. It wont be in the front of your brain 24/7. It will be in the back.
Find joy in small things. I lost joy with Mal. I knew he gave it back to me after a rough life before him...but I had NO idea how the tiny tendrils had truly wrapped around and thru everything till they were gone. But everyday I look at a card from Ireland a friend sent me with the word HOPE in big letters on my desk. I take joy in that and try to hold onto hope.
And to gratitude for what I do still have...which I can see you do too.
I have proven again I am more chatty than you! LOL
I will watch for more posts even if I dont post myself back. But know my heart is there.
Best Margot
Yes Doug, I know I’m several weeks late, but happened to be scrolling back on Julia’s blog as posted last week, and saw a hublet back a couple of weeks ago, I did post that week but didn’t come back as I ought to have done. I’m really loving the wee garden total success with it! ✅ well done, and yes the mug is apt in comment and it is on your desk 😂 … thanks for sharing your family with us too it’s grand they’re so supportive. I pray for you each night along with all the WOYWW crew too, at the crop and few extras thrown in, so you’re thought of often.
Appreciate that 2018 crop and actually meeting you both too at Llandudno.❤️ So memorable although I really wasn’t well. Amazingly managed it, and had such precious times. Take care, excellent course you’re doing that brilliant idea.
Thanks so much for Sharing, God bless and keep you, in all things, prayer and bloggy hugs Shaz in Oz.x
{Wonderful Words of Life - Shaz in Oz}
{Calligraphy Cards - Shaz in Oz}
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